


It’ll be ok.

by Esther_boneS8



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Classification AU, Fluff, Gay, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Little Space, Little!Murdoc, Love, M/M, No Smut, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Gorillaz, caregiver!Russel, russdoc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esther_boneS8/pseuds/Esther_boneS8
Summary: Murdoc Niccals would rather eat his own shit then admit his real classification. His whole life he’d be “taught” that being little was wrong; and he agreed with that. He wasn’t a baby and some yank wasn’t going to make him be a baby.Or, maybe he will.
Relationships: Russel Hobbs/Murdoc Niccals
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

Murdoc's POV~  
I'v hidden all of my life. I spent my first 17 years hiding from my father and the last 6 hiding from the truth about my classification. I'v managed it this far, and I'm not going to give it all up for some sad yank.  
~~~~~~~~~ Time Skip to present~~~~~~~~~  
"Ughhhh turn that fucking alarm off" I groaned, pulling the blanket further up me. I'd passed out on the sofa again then. "If you don't like it then maybe you should consider actually bothering to make it to bed every now and then" Russel replied, doing what I assumed to be rolling his eyes. "You know it's not good for you to be consuming that amount of alcohol and not eating anything right? Do you want to die?!" I had to pick what I replied with very carefully. Last time we had this conversation, it ended awfully. 

Luckily I didn't have to reply at all. "Here, eat up before I feed you it myself." Russel warned, half slamming a plate of eggs onto the table. " 'm not hungry. Thanks though." I said, pushing the plate away and standing up to walk out the room. Suddenly, a large hand gripped onto my shoulder and guided me back down onto the sofa. "No, your going to do as your told and eat your breakfast. Now this is your last warning you can eat your eggs yourself or I will feed you." He said going back to washing last nights dishes. 

"I'm not a little you know. I don't need your stupid mother henning!" I whined, dangerously close to slipping. Truth be told, Russel could melt me easily. "No, of course you don't" Russel absent- mindedly  
Replied. Stupid prick wasn't even listening to me anymore. I mean, I was pretty hungry since the last thing I ate was a couple grams of Ket and I couldn't risk him feeding me for fear of slipping. About 5 minutes passed and I was finished. "See? Was that really so hard?" The prick said, in a one of the worst patronising tones. "No actually, it was burnt" I huffed back, crossing my arms together on my chest. "Oh that's a shame, why don't go and have a bath to calm you down?" Russel suggested, ignoring my remark. "I'm not a baby! Stop trying to treat me like one!" I whined, stomping my foot slightly. Oh no. This was bad. Very very bad. I could NOT slip in front of him. My life would be over if I did.  
(MAJOR CHILD ABUSE TW)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Your a Niccals, and Niccals men do not act like pathetic babies, therefore I will not let you" snarled dad, raising his arm so as to get a good hit on me. The world went black has the first few smacks of the belt rained down hard onto me. Everything spun as a hard kick was administered to my stomach. The beating had officially begun. I screamed out in pain as 3 steaming cigarette burns ate up my flesh. "I NEVER DID ANYTHING" I screamed, hoping the pain would end soon.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~end of flashback~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Murdoc? Are you alright” I could hear Russ talking but I couldent seem to form any words, all I could do was nod my head. “‘M just gonna go back to bed for a bit. Thanks for breakfast.” I said walking off. This time there where no hands on my shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very wet bed and some very bad dreams.

{DRUG MENTIONS TW}   
Murdoc's POV~   
I was falling, into a deep dark pit and I couldn't make out the bottom. I couldn't think, couldn't breath, couldn't move; and I was never getting out. Whatever I'd taken, I'd taken far too much far to quickly. I wasn't falling anymore. I'd hit water and was being dragged under. Under with every other problem in my life. 

I woke up covered in sweat and the duvet on the floor. Turns out I wasn't high. Shifting round to get out of bed, I felt large wet patch form beneath me. Oh fucking shit. I hadn't wet the bed since I was about 15. Why was this suddenly happening to me? I mean I know it's not particularly good for your health not to spend any time in headspace but pissing yourself? Surely that wasn't right. 

It was 6:40. Double fucking shit. You see, Russel was the type of freak to wake up ridiculously early because it's "good for you". I'd never be able to make it anywhere near the washing without him noticing if he was awake. I couldn't even ignored and go back to sleep, the smell was horrible and the puddle took up the vast majority of the bed. What the fuck was I meant to do? I couldn't leave it since it'd stain the mattress and ruin it but I also couldn't go and wash it until to late anyway for fear of Russel seeing. 

Panic was setting in hard. Memories of my childhood replayed over and and over again in my mind whilst tears spilled from my eyes. Small whimpers quickly turned into loud sobs and I could feel myself slipping once again. “Murdoc man? You alright, I can hear you crying?” Russel questioned, knocking carefully on my door. “‘M fine just a scary dream is all.” 

Russel’s POV~   
I wasn’t really one to go into a room without permission, but Murdoc sounded like he could use some comfort. And besides, he walks around half naked most of the time it’s not like it’s really an issue between us. 

As soon as I walked in, I could tell something was wrong. He was sat on the edge of his bed tears running down his face and his nose all snotty and red. The smell of urine filled the entire room, and his duvet was in a very wet looking heap. Had he wet the bed? Poor kid. 

“Murdoc have you wet the bed?” I asked, kneeling down to his level since he insisted on having his bed on the floor. Murdoc burst out into tears and began shaking, his face covered in a deep blush. “Oh sweetheart it’s ok you aren’t in any trouble I promise. We’ll get it cleaned up and you can go have a nice warm bath, how about that?” I reassured, putting on my caregiver voice. The poor lamb seemed so shaken up by even the smallest of things. Though, he did seem a hell of a lot calmer then he did 3 minutes ago. 

“I uh...that sounds....I’m fine. Really. Thank you for trying to help me though” Murdoc argued standing up and stripping his bed. “Hun-” I began but was quickly cut off. “I’m not little Russel. I had a dream about me dad is all, I don’t need your care” he spat picking his washing up and walking to the washer.   
I sighed and took that as my que to get out of the way before harsh words got thrown around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! So i finally got round to another chapter. Hopefully this is better then the last one 😅   
> Lemme know if you like it!   
> ~Esther


	3. Chapter 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Russel is PISSED. Murdoc is also pissed, just not in the same way ;)

{ALCHAHOL AND MENTIONS OF DRUGS TW}  
Russel’s POV~  
was going to kill him. As soon as I got my hands on him I was going to throttle the little shit. It was 3 in the fucking morning. What the hell was he even doing? He promised me he was going sober. So on top of waking me up unnecessarily early and making me drive to god knows where to pick his dumbass up, he lied to me. Lied to my face. 

Half of me was extremely concerned for him though. After he had an accident, he completely shut himself off. Locking himself up in his pit of a room and only coming out to use the bathroom and occasionally get a little bit of food. I could still hear him at night though, waking up panting and then bawling his eyes out. All I wanted to do was go in there and pick him up. Coddle him and kiss him and tell him it’d be ok. I wanted.....I wanted to be his daddy and him my baby boy. 

“There he is! My own knight in shining armour, Mr Russel- whatever your middle is- Hobbs. My personal chauffeur-“ I got out of the car and picked him up. Not to intimidate him, just because it was either that or strangling him till his lips turned blue. 

Murdoc’s POV~   
“PUT ME DOWN YOU FUCKING TWAT” I screamed, trying to kick and punch Russel as hard as I could. “Murdoc, stop throwing a tantrum and keep your hands to yourself” the prick said, once again in that stupid caregiver tone. I was drunk, high, tired and quite frankly couldn’t be bothered to put up with his mother henning bolocks. “NO GO FUCK YOURSELF” I bellowed, managing to backhand him. “I think your forgetting you wanted me to come and pick you up, since your clearly to over tired to get yourself home on your own” he announced, coming over to the car and strapping me in. If he didn’t stop this bullshit I was going to slip.

I wanted to crawl up and bawl my eyes out until I fell asleep. I should never have called Russel, but then again, I probably shouldn’t have gone and got blindingly drunk either. “Ju’ f’ck off” I managed to slur out, my eyes getting droopier and droopier by the second. “Of course sweetheart” he replied, in probably one of the most patronising tones in the whole entire world. If I really wanted to, I could have beaten the shit out of him. 

The rest of the car ride went by in a hazy blur. Russel was lecturing me, I knew that much. But I couldn’t make out what he was saying. My head pounded and my heart was racing, but I somehow I felt safe. I feeling I wasn’t at all familiar with. After about 10 minutes though, I fell straight to sleep. A massive fucking mistake. 

Russel’s POV:   
After around 10 minutes I managed to calm myself down enough to make decent thoughts.It was clear that tonight was going to be the night where Murdoc wasn’t able to hide his classification and regress in front of me. I just, kind of wish it wouldn’t have to be after I yelled at him. He’d certainly calmed down a lot, his breathing was back to normal and he’d stopped shaking. I felt awful for picking him up like that, but I really had no other choice. I needed to show him who was in charge. 

“When we get back into the house, I want you to walk straight upstairs and get some sleep. We’re going to talk more in the morning ok sweetheart? Your not in too much trouble, so you don’t need to scared. Just think about what you did, for me” I asked, my voice back to its average calm again. Sighing at the lack of response I began getting out of the car only to stop myself. Murdoc hadn’t moved at all. He wasn’t ignoring me, he was sound asleep. “Murdoc buddy? Cmon sweetie we’re at home now” I coaxed, gently rocking him awake. His mischievous little eyes slowly opening and adjusting to light of the car. 

“Home?” He questioned, his voice small and vulnerable. “Yeah hunny, home now” I answered, brushing a couple of raven hairs out of his face. “Would you like me to carry you into the house or can you walk?” I questioned. He sat for a moment, thinking out his reply. “Carry?” He answered, holding out his skinny arms to me. I carefully picked the small boy up and began walking tasteless our home. “‘M sorry for bein’ rude” he mumbled. “It’s ok buddy, I understand. No hard feelings.” 

Taking him up to his bedroom was a minor struggle, he may be a lanky little thing but he was still a grown up man. We still struggled on however, and after a long while managed to get up. Once in the boys bedroom, I placed him down on his rusty bed and began changing his clothes. “Baby? Do you have any little things you need?” I asked whilst removing his jeans and shirt. “Small bwue box ‘nder bed” Murdoc slurred. Retrieving the box I stood up and opened it up. Inside was a couple of large pastel diapers, one pacifier and a teddy bear. At least now I know how much I can spoil this little prince. 

“Baby boy, would it be ok if I changed you into one of your diapers before bed?” I asked cautiously, well aware of how much Murdoc disliked being touched. Although he whined, he nodded his head and motioned for the paci. I made quick work of dressing him and quickly placed him into bed whispering “goodnight my prince” into his ear and walking out.   
M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy!   
> Sorry for the lack of recent updates, school is shit yk. Hope you enjoy!   
> ~Esther

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! I haven’t actually written anything before but oh well. I know it’s shit. I’m sorry :) 
> 
> ~Esther


End file.
